As Seen on Screen offers readers a chance to see film reviews for the everyman, without all of the clutter and nonsense fed to the average filmgoer. Plain, straitforward, to the point. That's our goal. We offer a diverse catalogue of which to choose from, from silent comedies to modern superhero films. Final note: this is a family friendly blog. We only review films rated G through PG-13, plus the unrated films of yesteryear. So if this sounds like your cup of tea, pull up a crumpet and enjoy. Thanks for your support!
Saturday, December 29, 2018
Poster advertises film as Taste of Fear
Scream of Fear
1961NRDRAMA1h 18min
CAST— Susan Strasberg, Christopher
Lee, Ann Todd, Ronald Lewis
MUSIC— Clifton ParkerDIRECTOR— Seth Holt
B-grade suspense yarn with a snail’s pace.
A paralyzed young woman visits her father’s home only to hear from her new
stepmother that he is away on business. However, the girl begins to see her
father’s dead body here and there despite everyone’s claims that he is alive
and well. Is the answer to the mystery supernatural or is the answer something
sinister (yet simple)? Quite dull until the twisting, turning finale.
Christopher Lee is wasted in a bit part. AKA: Taste of Fear.
OUR RATING— **
The Scarlet Pimpernel
1935NRDRAMA1h 34min
CAST— Leslie Howard, Merle Oberon,
Raymond Massey, Nigel Bruce, Bramwell Fletcher, Anthony Bushell, Joan Gardner,
Melville Cooper
MUSIC— Arthur BenjaminDIRECTOR— Harold YoungBASED ON— The Scarlet Pimpernel (novel),
by Baroness Emmuska Orczy
If you’re in the mood for action,
adventure, swordplay and more, than look elsewhere, because The Scarlet
Pimpernel is not that type of hero. His days consist of stealing into
France, saving what few aristocratic necks from the guillotine that he can, and
secreting them back to England, all in time for tea. Back in his English digs
his wife is oblivious to the fact of his hidden identity, viewing her husband
as a droll bore, never living up to his potential. Yet when a representative of
the French government rides into town he makes a proposal that may alter her
life forever. Long on words, slow on everything else, don’t expect an
aristocratic Zorro. More like a less than intriguing espionage novel.
OUR RATING— * ½
REMADE AS— The Scarlet
Pimpernel (1982)
Scared to Death
1947NRMYSTERY1h 5min
CAST— Bela Lugosi, Douglas Fowley,
Joyce Compton, George Zucco, Nat Pendleton, Angelo Rossitto, Molly Lamont
MUSIC— Carl HoefleDIRECTOR— Christy Cabanne
Absolutely ludicrous tale of a newly-dead
being prepped for autopsy who recounts the tale of her unfortunate demise. She
had been a seemingly hopeless neurotic (with a fear of blindfolds, of all
things) who begins to subconsciously fear for her life. Soon, a strange
character appears at the door: a mysterious hypnotist that just may have the
answers to her past. Suddenly, strange things begin to occur including
assaults, death-like fugues, and floating masks. Hopefully you’re not afraid of
blindfolds because you’ll need one if you’re gonna sit through this one. Bela
Lugosi’s only film shot in color.
OUR RATING— *
Trailer Unavailable
Savannah Smiles
1982PGCOMEDY-DRAMA1h 45min
CAST— Mark
Miller, Donovan Scott, Bridgette Andersen, Peter Graves, Chris Robinson,
Michael Parks
MUSIC— Ken SutherlandDIRECTOR— Pierre DeMoro
A sappy sentimentalist story designed to
tug at the heart strings while simultaneously teaching of moral redemption. An
emotionally neglected little rich girl hides in the car of two ne’er-do-well
fugitives. After some debate, they decide to keep her safe until her parents
offer a reward. Little do they expect to fall in love, of course. Told with
stereotypical cuteness, the film may appeal more to the grandparent set.
OUR RATING— **
Sartana in the Valley of Death
1970NRWESTERN1h 35min
CAST— William Berger
MUSIC— Augusto MartelliDIRECTOR— Roberto Mauri
Instantly forgettable film featuring an unofficial version of Spaghetti
Western character Sartana. Here we have a frightfully blond tough guy who falls
in with escaped convicts seeking revenge and gold. They get their revenge one
bullet at a time, drink whiskey and play with music boxes. Somewhere along the
way blondie falls out of their favor and is forced to wander the desert before
seeking his own revenge. Seemingly endless, this one could’ve stayed in the
Valley of Death. In English dubbed from Italian. AKA Sartana nella valle
degli avvoltoi, Ballad of Death Valley.
OUR RATING— *
Thursday, December 20, 2018
Saps at Sea
1940NRCOMEDY58min
CAST— Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy,
James Finlayson, Ben Turpin, Richard Cramer, Harry Bernard
MUSIC— Marvin Hatley, Leroy
ShieldDIRECTOR— Gordon Douglas
Entertaining L&H outing, featuring the
boys dishing out the funny after Ollie has a nervous breakdown. While working
in a horn factory, Ollie discovers to his dismay that he has an allergic
nervous condition due to the sound of horns. Or something. Anyway, his doctor
suggests a nice rest, perhaps an ocean voyage. The fun really begins once the
boys procure a vessel. While at dock, a deranged killer sneaks aboard, leaving
Stan and Ollie with bigger problems than any found in a horn factory. One of
the shorter feature-length comedies, but solid material nevertheless.
OUR RATING— ** ½
Trailer Unavailable
Sands of Iwo Jima
1949NRACTION1h 40min
CAST— John Wayne, John Agar, Adele
Mara, Forrest Tucker, Arthur Franz, Julie Bishop, Richard Jaeckel, Wally
Cassell, Richard Webb
MUSIC— Victor YoungDIRECTOR— Allan Dwan
A gripping, action-packed WWII tale chock
full of goodies; from John Wayne’s gruff sergeant to thrilling battle
sequences, this one has it all. Wayne (in his first Oscar-nominated role) plays
a tough as nails sergeant assigned to whip a group of young men into shape, if,
that is, they are to become Marines. He puts them through the grinder and back
again, toughening them up; all the while his recruits hate his very guts from
morning to night. But the finished product? Another platoon of young men ready
to serve their country as part of the United States Marine Corps. There are
additional stories going on here as well, such as a half baked love story
between a recruit and a native New Zealand girl (who sounds nothing like anyone
born anywhere even remotely close to New Zealand), but the real attraction is
the action, which there’s plenty of. Two key battle sequences highlight this
wartime drama and you won’t want to miss a moment of it. Semper Fi.
MUSIC— Herschel Burke GilbertDIRECTOR— Arnold Laven
Another Western comedy that fails to take
off. Burt Reynolds plays the titular cowboy, a drinkin’, gamblin’, schemin’
jack of all trades. When Angie Dickinson asks a favor of him it takes a little
friendly persuasion (not to mention $20,000) to talk him into it. The favor?
Recover a load of gold bars from a sunken riverboat and (now here’s the catch)
return it to the U.S. mint. Reynolds partners with a hard fighting blacksmith
and a hard drinking inventor to uncover the loot. But they must watch out for a
band of thugs following their every move. Sometimes fun, sometimes lackluster,
but always rich in character (if not in originality).
CAST— Angelina Jolie, Liev
Schreiber, Chiwetel Ejiofer, Daniel Olbrychski, Andre Braugher, August Diehl,
Daniel Pearce, Hunt Block
MUSIC— James Newton HowardDIRECTOR— Phillip Noyce
A super spy thriller with an edge.
Angelina Jolie is Evelyn Salt, seemingly a mild-mannered company exec, in
reality a deadly CIA operative. When a Russian defector seeks out the agency he
spills a fantastic tale, claiming that Russian spies have infiltrated the US
government and are planning to assassinate the Russian president, thereby
igniting a war between the two countries. The defector now claims that Jolie is
one of these spies. Ardently denying these allegations Jolie sets out to prove
her innocence… or does she? So begins a nail biting adventure full of
conspiracies, double agents and double takes that leaves the viewer guessing
which pieces of the puzzle can be trusted. A high octane, high sodium treat.
Unrated versions also available.
OUR RATING— ***
Monday, December 17, 2018
Salem's Lot
1979NRHORROR/TELEVISION3h 4min
CAST— David Soul, James Mason,
Lance Kerwin, Bonnie Bedelia, Lew Ayres
MUSIC— Harry SukmanDIRECTOR— Tobe HooperBASED ON— 'Salem's Lot (novel), by
Stephen King
The second novel published by proficient
author Stephen King is given the miniseries treatment, with solid results. A
writer gets back to his roots by returning to his hometown of Salem's Lot (officially
named Jerusalem's Lot). Not much has changed in this sleepy little town, not
even the looming house on the hill. For decades the Marsten House has been
reputed to be haunted, the purposed subject of author David Soul's novel. He
discovers that a mysterious someone has bought the house and that this someone
is planning to open an antique shop in town. Other than that no one in town
knows a thing about the stranger. Curiosity piqued, Soul begins to snoop
around, the feeling surrounding the house just plain creepy. Shortly people
begin to disappear, only being seen in the dark of night, usually with glowing
eyes and a newfound ability to levitate. Needless to say the fear factor
intensifies. Despite the townsfolk seemingly wishing to sweep these phenomena
under the proverbial rug, Soul begins a one man mission to rid the Lot of its
evil, an ancient vampire who uses his human familiar to deliver his meals and
protect him from wooden stakes and the like. For a TV miniseries from the '70s
the film manages to be quite creepy, from the fashion of the era to the
vampiric villain (who kinda looks like Count Orlok after being rejected from
Blue Man Group). The special effects are well done and the misty atmosphere
keeps things chilly. The main problem is a seriously underutilized villain, the
position of main baddie being relegated to the antiques guy. Still, one could
do much worse. Theatrical re-edit also available. AKA Salem's Lot: The Movie,
Salem's Lot: The Miniseries, Blood Thirst.
OUR RATING— ** ½
FOLLOWED BY— A Return to
Salem's Lot (1987)
REMADE AS— Salem's Lot
(2004)
St. Vincent
2014PG-13COMEDY-DRAMA1h 42min
CAST— Bill Murray, Melissa
McCarthy, Naomi Watts, Jaeden Lieberher
MUSIC— Theodore ShapiroDIRECTOR— Theodore Melfi
Melancholy tale featuring bravura
performances all around, particularly by a crusty Bill Murray. He plays
Vincent, an all out curmudgeon who lives life with the least amount of human
contact as is humanly possible. His new neighbors, a single mother and her son
(Melissa McCarthy and Jaeden Lieberher, respectively), see only his grumpy
exterior (well, they undoubtedly sense his dour interior, as well). When
circumstances call for Murray to care for the boy (strictly by the hour) he
introduces the child to his daily routine. Trips to the race track, local bars
and strip clubs are seen as the norm. So is caring for his ailing wife, his cat
and a pregnant stripper. Murray is seen as alternately callous and caring, cowardly
and heroic, as his character deals with life in his own way: the way of the
down-trodden fogey. A dramady that has its moments (along with its flaws) but
can’t sustain the emotional pull it strives for. The afore-mentioned stellar
performances may be all that resonate after viewing. A conflicted
character-driven comedy-drama.
OUR RATING— ** ½
Trailer Unavailable
A Sailor-Made Man
1921NRCOMEDY47min
CAST— Harold Lloyd
MUSIC— SilentDIRECTOR— Fred C. Newmeyer
Early feature-length effort from Harold
Lloyd plays out like two mismatched sketch ideas in the same film. He plays a
spoiled millionaire out to prove himself to the father of his lady love. So off
he goes to join the Navy, where he becomes somewhat of a pariah to his fellow
sailors. Six months later, while on shore leave, he must rescue his girl from
the clutches of a sheikh. The two ideas never seem to gel and the comedy is
often sketchy in this less than remarkable silent.
OUR RATING— **
Trailer Unavailable
Safety Last!
1923NRCOMEDY1h 13min
CAST— Harold Lloyd, Mildred Davis,
Bill Strothers, Noah Young
MUSIC— SilentDIRECTORS— Fred Newmeyer, Sam Taylor
An impressive silent feature from Harold
Lloyd. Again he plays the meek “Boy” out to woo the “Girl” of his dreams. But
first he’s determined to make something of himself. Off he heads to the big
city, only to find a meager position in a major department store. But whenever
he writes his sweetheart he claims to have made the big time. When she decides
to pay him a visit he desperately tries to prove himself to her. Some very
amusing gags that are oh so Lloyd, culminating in a nail biting climb up the
face of a building. Good stuff. Deemed “culturally, historically, or
aesthetically significant” by the United States Library of Congress National
Film Registry.