The Pit and the Pendulum

1961  NR  DRAMA  1h 25min

CAST— Vincent Price, John Kerr, Barbara Steele, Luana Anders, Anthony Carbone

MUSIC— Les Baxter  DIRECTOR— Roger Corman  BASED ON— The Pit and the Pendulum (story), by Edgar Allan Poe

     It seems that Roger Corman and Vincent Price have Poe on the mind yet again. This time they head to a secluded castle with more than a few secrets tucked into its turrets. John Kerr, after receiving news of his sister’s death, sojourns to her resting place, a looming castle that houses his late sister’s lover (played by Vincent Price) and his sister. The events surrounding his sister’s death are mysterious, so Kerr plans a detailed inquiry. But Price’s odd behavior increasingly becomes hostile, leading Kerr to doubt Price’s motives and very sanity. And he just doesn’t trust that kook around the castle’s treasured collection of ancient instruments of torture… The second pairing of Corman with Price for a Poe-inspired picture and this one bites as well; yawn-inducing pacing and stodgy performances dampen the potential good times. Great production design for a Corman film, though.

OUR RATING— * ½

     Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

2003  PG-13  ADVENTURE  2h 22min

CAST— Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Jonathan Pryce

MUSIC— Klaus Badelt, Hans Zimmer  DIRECTOR— Gore Verbinski  BASED ON—  Walt Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean (Disneyworld attraction)

     Johnny Depp gives a terrific, Oscar-nominated performance as Captain Jack Sparrow in this ghostly, swash-buckling adventure. Sparrow sets sail to commandeer the ship that was stolen from him, The Black Pearl, from its mutinous pirate captain, Barbossa. But here’s the catch: Captain Barbossa and his pirate crew have stolen and spent treasure that should have been left alone, Aztec Gold. They have now been cursed to roam the seas searching for the last remaining pieces of the spent treasure…as the undead. They must find and recover the spent treasure to reverse the curse, to return to their human state. With good performances and great CGI work, this film should have been more than it is. What we have is entertaining, but it’s overlong by 30-40 minutes, plus, it has too many plot points to keep up with. The best things about it are the effects and Johnny Depp’s performance, which steals the show. Arr!!

OUR RATING— ** ½

FOLLOWED BY— Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006), Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (2007), Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011), Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)

     Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

2011  PG-13  ACTION  2h 17min

CAST— Johnny Depp, Penélope Cruz, Geoffrey Rush, Ian McShane, Kevin R. McNally, Sam Clafin, Astrid Berges-Frisbey, Stephen Graham, Keith Richards, Richard Griffiths, Roger Allam, Judi Dench

MUSIC— Hans Zimmer, Rodrigo y Gabriela  DIRECTOR— Rob Marshall  BASED ON— Walt Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean (Disneyworld attraction)

     Ah, youth! In the fourth of Disney’s successful pirate series Johnny Depp returns as Captain Jack Sparrow, minus ship and crew. He is soon thrust into all manner of mayhem as he is reunited with Penélope Cruz, a long lost love (or is it lust?) and her quest for the famed fountain of youth. She leads Depp to her father, Blackbeard, pirate of pirates, who longs for eternal life. But they must face the elements, flesh-eating mermaids and shiploads of cutthroats seeking the fountain. Pure escapism, more fun than the last two heavy-handed films combined, though the novelty of Depp’s performance has now been spent. The usual spirited chase scenes and intricate sword play abound, but elements such as new characters and a chilling mermaid feeding frenzy (nary a Disney Princess to be found) keep things fresh. Nothing groundbreaking but fun, nevertheless. Savvy?

OUR RATING— ***

PRECEDED BY— Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003), Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006), Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (2007)

FOLLOWED BY— Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)

     Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

2017  PG-13  ACTION  2h 9min

CAST— Johnny Depp, Javier Bardem, Geoffrey Rush, Brenton Thwaites, Kaya Scodelario, Kevin McNally

MUSIC— Geoff Zanelli  DIRECTORS— Joachim Rønning, Espen Sandberg  BASED ON— Walt

Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean (Disneyworld attraction)

     The Pirates of the Caribbean franchise has never been concerned about coherency, and this entry is no exception. As a boy, the son of Will Turner vows to free his father from the wretched curse that plagues him. As a man, the young Turner partners with a beautiful astronomer and (you guessed it) Captain Jack Sparrow. See, this time around there are some undead dudes led by the vicious Salazar who want to kill Sparrow and claim the ultimate treasure: Poseidon’s Trident, a relic that may bring an end to all the curses of the sea. It’s a race to the island that holds the Trident, full of action, suspense and zombie sharks. Not quite as violent as other Pirates films; not as long, either. One can tell that Johnny Depp still has fun as Sparrow but the fifth time around isn’t 1/5 as charming or hilarious as the original. Good enough for fans but for those new to the series the references may go over their heads (heck, some stuff may go over the heads of diehards, as well). All in all fun, but nothing groundbreaking. AKA Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar’s Revenge.

OUR RATING— ** ½

PRECEDED BY— Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003), Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006), Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (2007), Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)

     Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

2006  PG-13  ADVENTURE  2h 30min

CAST— Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Stellan Skarsgård, Bill Nighy, Jack Davenport, Kevin R. McNally, Jonathan Pryce

MUSIC— Hans Zimmer  DIRECTOR— Gore Verbinski  BASED ON— Walt Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean (Disneyworld attraction)

     To the depths with ye! More sea farin’ action and antics from the irrepressible Capt. Jack Sparrow; bonus: new and improved creature effects, including a pirate crew of walking seafood and the largest creature to date, the mighty Kraken. Plot-wise it’s a bit thick; Jack Sparrow sends Will Turner in search of a key that will open a hidden chest, but in the process he has Will taken prisoner by Davy Jones to save his own skin. Or something. After that it’s all shouting, cannon fire, and sword play; in other words, lots of fun. Convoluted plot aside this film is all about the action and effects, so if you like your buckles with a bit of swash, enjoy. Arr, again. Oscar-winner for Best Visual Effects.

OUR RATING— ** ½

PRECEDED BY— Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)

FOLLOWED BY— Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (2007), Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011), Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)

     Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

2007  PG-13  ADVENTURE  2h 48min

CAST— Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Stellan Skarsgård, Bill Nighy, Chow-Yun Fat, Geoffrey Rush, Jack Davenport, Kevin R. McNally, Jonathan Pryce

MUSIC— Hans Zimmer  DIRECTOR— Gore Verbinski  BASED ON— Walt Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean (Disneyworld attraction)

     Now here’s a real head scratcher. One of the most confused and convoluted films in a decade comes along and get this: it’s a hit. Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush return as captains Jack Sparrow and Barbossa, respectively, the saltiest scalawags of the briny seas. They, along with Elizabeth Swann, conspire against Davy Jones and the entire East India Trading Company. But they must be careful; thanks to Sparrow’s trickery Will Turner has joined the opposing team. All of this character drama carries into a plot containing conspiracy within conspiracy, Davy Jones’ heart, a pirate counsel, the sea goddess Calypso, etc., etc. This of course is secondary to the action; cannons blazing, swords clashing, ships being blown to smithereens. This time around, though, the action seems stale, almost monotonous. And the storyline? Come on. Only the nerdiest of them all will understand their constant blather over conspiracies and allegiances. Oh well, whatever floats your boat. Arr. Yeah, whatever.

OUR RATING— **

PRECEDED BY— Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003), Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006)

FOLLOWED BY— Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011), Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)

     Pinocchio

1940  NR  ANIMATED  1h 28min

CAST— Dickie Jones, Christian Rub, Cliff Edwards, Evelyn Venable, Walter Catlett, Frankie Darro

MUSIC— Paul J. Smith  DIRECTORS— Ben Sharpsteen, Hamilton Luske  BASED ON— The Adventures of Pinocchio (novel), by Carlo Collodi

     Walt Disney delivers yet another masterpiece in the form of a puppet who longs to live as a human boy. When Geppeto the wood carver fashions a marionette into the shape of a boy, his heart longs for a son. When night falls the Blue Fairy grants his wish, turning the marionette Pinocchio into a walking, talking being. Though still made of wood he may prove himself worthy; if he lives a decent life, discerns right from wrong, only then will he be made human. His newfound friend Jiminy Cricket accepts the task of watching over the boy, to be his conscience, as it were. But when they enter the world for the first time together, Pinocchio’s naiveté gets the best of him. And that’s where the fun begins. Jiminy Cricket must bail him out of one jam after another in this series of misadventures that is sure to keep viewers riveted right up to the harrowing finale. With breathtaking animation and superior Technicolor it’s a feast for eyes of all ages. And that’s no lie. Deemed “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant” by the United States Library of Congress National Film Registry.

OUR RATING— ***

REMADE AS— Pinocchio (2002)