As Seen on Screen offers readers a chance to see film reviews for the everyman, without all of the clutter and nonsense fed to the average filmgoer. Plain, straitforward, to the point. That's our goal. We offer a diverse catalogue of which to choose from, from silent comedies to modern superhero films. Final note: this is a family friendly blog. We only review films rated G through PG-13, plus the unrated films of yesteryear. So if this sounds like your cup of tea, pull up a crumpet and enjoy. Thanks for your support!
Wednesday, January 16, 2019
See No Evil
1971PGDRAMA1h 29min
CAST— Mia Farrow, Dorothy Alison,
Robin Bailey, Diane Grayson, Lila Kaye
MUSIC— Elmer BernsteinDIRECTOR— Richard Fleischer
Fairly entertaining thriller that relies
solely on the performance of Mia Farrow. She plays a young woman recently
stricken blind. While visiting her family at their country estate a killer
slays them, leaving Farrow to defend herself. More psychological drama than
actual chills with a totally non-threatening villain, primarily played by a pair
of tacky cowboy boots. AKA Blind Terror.
OUR RATING— **
Friday, January 11, 2019
Secret Window
2004PG-13HORROR1h 36min
CAST— Johnny Depp, John Turturro,
Maria Bello, Timothy Hutton, Charles S. Dutton, Len Cariou, Joan Haney
MUSIC— Phillip GlassDIRECTOR— David KoeppBASED ON— Secret Window, Secret Garden
(story), by Stephen King
“You stole my story”. So claims creepy guy
John Turturro to quiet writer Johnny Depp. Depp ardently denies said
allegation, thinking the matter solved. How wrong he is. So begins an onslaught
of psychological torture and physical threat that Turturro dishes out to an
often befuddled Depp. But is there more here than meets the eye…? This
adaptation of a Stephen King story is deliberately paced, though the shock
quotient is rather low. Rather long on paranoia, short on substance. Not to be
considered another King-sized dud, rather a contemplative thriller that may
give you a craving for corn.
OUR RATING— ** ½
Trailer Unavailable
The Secret of Roan Inish
1993PGFANTASY1h 43min
CAST— Jeni Courtney, Eileen
Colgan, Mick Lally, Richard Sheridan, John Lynch
MUSIC— Mason DaringDIRECTOR— John SaylesBASED ON— The Secret of Ron Mor Skerry
(novel), by Rosalie Frye
A somewhat melancholy fable set along the
Irish seashore. A young girl has been sent to live with her grandparents, a
kindly couple who make their living by way of the sea. Upon arrival the girl
recognizes that this is a place of love and warmth, which should ease her
transition. She begins to hear strange local legends about her lineage, which
leads her to investigate a neighboring island, one that may hold the answers to
these fascinating folk tales. Not quite as interesting as it sounds; a few fine
performances and some impressive location shooting become the primary focus in
a film that mixes drama with fantasy to no effect. No lucky charm here.
OUR RATING— * ½
Trailer Unavailable
The Secret of Convict Lake
1951NRWESTERN1h 23min
CAST— Glenn Ford
MUSIC— Sol KaplanDIRECTOR— Michael Gordon
Rather obscure little dramatic Western
that proves to be a forgettable experience. In 1870s California a handful of
escaped convicts make their way over a mountain range despite a raging
blizzard. They find a quaint little village at the bottom of the slopes, a
place to rest and arm themselves. It looks like it’ll be a piece of cake;
especially since the town’s men folk have all gone prospecting. While some
members of the gang see a hostile takeover as a possibility quiet Glenn Ford
steps forward to make the peace… but it’s clear that there is another reason
that he’s in town… Good performances, yet unremarkable overall.
OUR RATING— **
The Secret Life of Pets
2016PGANIMATED1h 27min
CAST— Louis C.K., Eric
Stonestreet, Kevin Hart, Jenny Slate, Ellie Kemper, Lake Bell, Dana Carvey,
Hannibal Buress, Bobby Moynihan, Steve Coogan, Albert Brooks
MUSIC— Alexandre DesplatDIRECTOR— Chris Renaud
They're friends. They're family. They're
always there for you. So why do you leave them every day in pursuit of
meaningless things when you could be curled up with your pets? The answer to
that question eludes Max, a small dog with a big heart, a heart belonging to
his guardian, Katie. Though Max and Katie obviously belong together, for some
reason she decides to add another dog to the mix: Duke, a big ol' shaggy thing.
When Duke begins to take over the house, Max puts in motion a plan to rid
himself of this new menace. Things backfire when both of them wind up loose in
the city, eventually being captured by animal control officers. Oddly enough,
rescue arrives in the form of an assortment of animals led by a rogue bunny.
These guys are the Flushed Pets, creatures discarded, forgotten, abandoned,
whose plan is the ultimate downfall of humanity. Thinking Max and Duke are bad
to the bone people haters, they're recruited into the ranks. Things turn sour
quickly, leaving Max and Duke on the streets again, now pursued by the Flushed
Pets as well as animal control. But never fear; Max's neighborhood buddies
(plus a few new pals) are rounded up, a rescue mission underway. All
throughout, Max and Duke come to rely on each other, trust each other, even
like each other. Entertaining, providing plenty of laughs and a few
"awww" moments. Though primarily produced for the kids there's still
stuff to keep adults interested, as well. Fine entertainment for a family movie
night (family including pets, of course).
OUR RATING— ** ½
The Secret Life of Bees
2008PG-13DRAMA1h 50min
CAST— Dakota Fanning, Queen
Latifah, Paul Bettany, Jennifer Hudson, Alicia Keys
MUSIC— Mark IshamDIRECTOR— Gina Prince-BythewoodBASED ON— The Secret Life of Bees
(novel), by Sue Monk Kidd
What at first sounds like a boring
semi-documentary about the thrilling world of beekeeping, is actually a warm
yet bittersweet coming-of-age-tale told through the eyes of a young girl.
Dakota Fanning plays young Lily, whose father is abusive, her mother passed on
(let’s just say Fanning has more than a few issues). When things at home take a
turn for the worst, she hightails it outta there as fast as you can say “pluck
a peach”. She makes her journey with a young black woman who’s had enough of
her life as well. They eventually seek solace in the big pink house run by
Queen Latifah, beekeeper by trade, gentle hearted caregiver by nature. In the
course of the film answers are uncovered, romances are kindled, and honey is
produced by the quart. It does feel like a television movie at points, but
that’s a minor flaw. To summon up this honey of a movie in one word: sweet.
OUR RATING— ***
Tuesday, January 1, 2019
Secret in Their Eyes
2015PG-13DRAMA1h 41min
CAST— Chiwetel Ejiofor, Nicole
Kidman, Julia Roberts, Dean Norris, Michael Kelly, Joe Cole, Alfred Molina
MUSIC— Emilio KaudererDIRECTOR— Billy RayBASED ON— La pregunta de sus ojos
(novel), by Eduardo Sacheri
Fairly interesting case file that spans
over thirteen years. Chiwetel Ejiofor plays a former FBI agent who is haunted
by a cold case that hit a little too close to home. In 2002 he and his partner
(Julia Roberts) are called to a crime scene where the body of a young woman was
found. The victim is none other than Roberts’ daughter. The perpetrator is
identified early, though he is virtually untouchable due to his cooperation
with a counter-terrorism investigation. Ejiofor does his darndest to gather
evidence that will stick, though his boss urges him to put the CT case in the
foreground, whitewashing the subject’s heinous crime, going so far as
destroying pertinent evidence. In the present Ejiofor believes that he has
tracked down the guy again, and he’s determined to bring him to justice, once
and for all. He and the new District Attorney (Nicole Kidman, whom Ejiofor
always had a thing for) reopen the case, off the books, of course. Can the ever
elusive killer now be caught, or is the past truly the past? Not so much
entertaining as it is absorbing, with well rounded characters ranging from the
slimy to the sympathetic. Marred only by convoluted continuity throughout,
skipping from past to present on a whim. But if the film grabs you maybe you
won’t mind so much. Final note: not recommended for family viewing due to frank
adult content and disturbing scenes.