As Seen On Screen

As Seen on Screen offers readers a chance to see film reviews for the everyman, without all of the clutter and nonsense fed to the average filmgoer. Plain, straitforward, to the point. That's our goal. We offer a diverse catalogue of which to choose from, from silent comedies to modern superhero films. Final note: this is a family friendly blog. We only review films rated G through PG-13, plus the unrated films of yesteryear. So if this sounds like your cup of tea, pull up a crumpet and enjoy. Thanks for your support!

Wednesday, January 16, 2019
















     See No Evil
1971  PG  DRAMA  1h 29min
CAST— Mia Farrow, Dorothy Alison, Robin Bailey, Diane Grayson, Lila Kaye
MUSIC— Elmer Bernstein  DIRECTOR— Richard Fleischer

     Fairly entertaining thriller that relies solely on the performance of Mia Farrow. She plays a young woman recently stricken blind. While visiting her family at their country estate a killer slays them, leaving Farrow to defend herself. More psychological drama than actual chills with a totally non-threatening villain, primarily played by a pair of tacky cowboy boots. AKA Blind Terror.
OUR RATING— **

Friday, January 11, 2019
















     Secret Window
2004  PG-13  HORROR  1h 36min
CAST— Johnny Depp, John Turturro, Maria Bello, Timothy Hutton, Charles S. Dutton, Len Cariou, Joan Haney
MUSIC— Phillip Glass  DIRECTOR— David Koepp  BASED ON— Secret Window, Secret Garden (story), by Stephen King

     “You stole my story”. So claims creepy guy John Turturro to quiet writer Johnny Depp. Depp ardently denies said allegation, thinking the matter solved. How wrong he is. So begins an onslaught of psychological torture and physical threat that Turturro dishes out to an often befuddled Depp. But is there more here than meets the eye…? This adaptation of a Stephen King story is deliberately paced, though the shock quotient is rather low. Rather long on paranoia, short on substance. Not to be considered another King-sized dud, rather a contemplative thriller that may give you a craving for corn.
OUR RATING— ** ½

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     The Secret of Roan Inish
1993  PG  FANTASY  1h 43min
CAST— Jeni Courtney, Eileen Colgan, Mick Lally, Richard Sheridan, John Lynch
MUSIC— Mason Daring  DIRECTOR— John Sayles  BASED ON— The Secret of Ron Mor Skerry (novel), by Rosalie Frye

     A somewhat melancholy fable set along the Irish seashore. A young girl has been sent to live with her grandparents, a kindly couple who make their living by way of the sea. Upon arrival the girl recognizes that this is a place of love and warmth, which should ease her transition. She begins to hear strange local legends about her lineage, which leads her to investigate a neighboring island, one that may hold the answers to these fascinating folk tales. Not quite as interesting as it sounds; a few fine performances and some impressive location shooting become the primary focus in a film that mixes drama with fantasy to no effect. No lucky charm here.
OUR RATING— * ½

Trailer Unavailable
















     The Secret of Convict Lake
1951  NR  WESTERN  1h 23min
CAST— Glenn Ford
MUSIC— Sol Kaplan  DIRECTOR— Michael Gordon

     Rather obscure little dramatic Western that proves to be a forgettable experience. In 1870s California a handful of escaped convicts make their way over a mountain range despite a raging blizzard. They find a quaint little village at the bottom of the slopes, a place to rest and arm themselves. It looks like it’ll be a piece of cake; especially since the town’s men folk have all gone prospecting. While some members of the gang see a hostile takeover as a possibility quiet Glenn Ford steps forward to make the peace… but it’s clear that there is another reason that he’s in town… Good performances, yet unremarkable overall.
OUR RATING— **
















     The Secret Life of Pets
2016  PG  ANIMATED  1h 27min
CAST— Louis C.K., Eric Stonestreet, Kevin Hart, Jenny Slate, Ellie Kemper, Lake Bell, Dana Carvey, Hannibal Buress, Bobby Moynihan, Steve Coogan, Albert Brooks
MUSIC— Alexandre Desplat  DIRECTOR— Chris Renaud

     They're friends. They're family. They're always there for you. So why do you leave them every day in pursuit of meaningless things when you could be curled up with your pets? The answer to that question eludes Max, a small dog with a big heart, a heart belonging to his guardian, Katie. Though Max and Katie obviously belong together, for some reason she decides to add another dog to the mix: Duke, a big ol' shaggy thing. When Duke begins to take over the house, Max puts in motion a plan to rid himself of this new menace. Things backfire when both of them wind up loose in the city, eventually being captured by animal control officers. Oddly enough, rescue arrives in the form of an assortment of animals led by a rogue bunny. These guys are the Flushed Pets, creatures discarded, forgotten, abandoned, whose plan is the ultimate downfall of humanity. Thinking Max and Duke are bad to the bone people haters, they're recruited into the ranks. Things turn sour quickly, leaving Max and Duke on the streets again, now pursued by the Flushed Pets as well as animal control. But never fear; Max's neighborhood buddies (plus a few new pals) are rounded up, a rescue mission underway. All throughout, Max and Duke come to rely on each other, trust each other, even like each other. Entertaining, providing plenty of laughs and a few "awww" moments. Though primarily produced for the kids there's still stuff to keep adults interested, as well. Fine entertainment for a family movie night (family including pets, of course).
OUR RATING— ** ½
















     The Secret Life of Bees
2008  PG-13  DRAMA  1h 50min
CAST— Dakota Fanning, Queen Latifah, Paul Bettany, Jennifer Hudson, Alicia Keys
MUSIC— Mark Isham  DIRECTOR— Gina Prince-Bythewood  BASED ON— The Secret Life of Bees (novel), by Sue Monk Kidd

     What at first sounds like a boring semi-documentary about the thrilling world of beekeeping, is actually a warm yet bittersweet coming-of-age-tale told through the eyes of a young girl. Dakota Fanning plays young Lily, whose father is abusive, her mother passed on (let’s just say Fanning has more than a few issues). When things at home take a turn for the worst, she hightails it outta there as fast as you can say “pluck a peach”. She makes her journey with a young black woman who’s had enough of her life as well. They eventually seek solace in the big pink house run by Queen Latifah, beekeeper by trade, gentle hearted caregiver by nature. In the course of the film answers are uncovered, romances are kindled, and honey is produced by the quart. It does feel like a television movie at points, but that’s a minor flaw. To summon up this honey of a movie in one word: sweet.
OUR RATING— ***

Tuesday, January 1, 2019
















     Secret in Their Eyes
2015  PG-13  DRAMA  1h 41min
CAST— Chiwetel Ejiofor, Nicole Kidman, Julia Roberts, Dean Norris, Michael Kelly, Joe Cole, Alfred Molina
MUSIC— Emilio Kauderer  DIRECTOR— Billy Ray  BASED ON— La pregunta de sus ojos (novel), by Eduardo Sacheri

     Fairly interesting case file that spans over thirteen years. Chiwetel Ejiofor plays a former FBI agent who is haunted by a cold case that hit a little too close to home. In 2002 he and his partner (Julia Roberts) are called to a crime scene where the body of a young woman was found. The victim is none other than Roberts’ daughter. The perpetrator is identified early, though he is virtually untouchable due to his cooperation with a counter-terrorism investigation. Ejiofor does his darndest to gather evidence that will stick, though his boss urges him to put the CT case in the foreground, whitewashing the subject’s heinous crime, going so far as destroying pertinent evidence. In the present Ejiofor believes that he has tracked down the guy again, and he’s determined to bring him to justice, once and for all. He and the new District Attorney (Nicole Kidman, whom Ejiofor always had a thing for) reopen the case, off the books, of course. Can the ever elusive killer now be caught, or is the past truly the past? Not so much entertaining as it is absorbing, with well rounded characters ranging from the slimy to the sympathetic. Marred only by convoluted continuity throughout, skipping from past to present on a whim. But if the film grabs you maybe you won’t mind so much. Final note: not recommended for family viewing due to frank adult content and disturbing scenes.
OUR RATING— ** ½
ORIGINAL— El secreto de sus ojos (2009)